"I just want to slam my fist into this whining hostage's face. Is it too much to ask?

Clearly watching the first two series of top ultra-corrupt cop show The Shield in a couple of weeks have left dirty marks on my consciousness, but I haven't quite gone native into the world of missing Mitchell brother Vic Mackey yet. I'm not asking for the full strike team experience of holding a man's face against an electric oven or urinating over suspects in the street or anything. I just want fist in face. Right now.

He's just not co-operating. I need to handcuff the wretch to secure him for extraction, and unless he gets on his knees, I can't do that. I know I can pull out my handy aerosol of MACE to forcibly hitch him to my train of thinking, but why hurt Mother Nature by releasing more nasty chemicals into her lungs when she gave me five fingers thick enough for the job?"

My review of SWAT 4 for Eurogamer, making passing reference to my current TV obsession. I never said I was quick on the update.