"You walk into every review with expectations. Basic critic's prejudice. With something like Playboy: The Mansion, this Sims-esque Hugh-Hefner-'em-up, you walk into the review buried alive in the things. Can't approach the work cleanly, which says something about humans but a lot more about the game.

Anyway, the plan was simple: I was going to rate the game purely on whether it got me off or not. It seemed the only way to be fair. Action games should be rated on how excited they make you. Strategy games should be rated by how much they make you think. Logically, games based upon the world's most famous soft-porn brand must be based upon per cubic centimetre of emissions produced."

Reviewing Playboy: The Mansion for Eurogamer, which I enjoyed far more than I really should have.