"Cute fact about Pharaohs; some, apparently, ceremonially ejaculated into the Nile to secure the requisite inundation of the Nile to replenish the farm-lands. Ruler of an empire, cheerfully knocking one off the wrist while an anxious crowd waits and an uncaring Nile sits there. Don't see any developer building that into a game.

Sadly. I wonder how we'd react if they did."

Immortal Cities: Children of the Nile review for Eurogamer. "As a group though I think we're starting to exhaust masturbation based intros," Tom Eurogamer comments, "Which is probably a good thing".

Oh, I think we can push the New Games Onaninsm a little further.