Fashionably drunk, so this may lean towards the more incoherent, so forgive me.

When I say "drunk" I mean "Have just knocked over a glass of wine and had to go and get another one". People who know me know exactly what that means.

(And I take a moment to smile at King Missile's Gay/Not Gay on my MP3 player. Just because... y'know. It's it)

Anyway.

I like responsibility.

Yeah, I know, but drop it. Yes, you. No, especially you. Leave it alone.

I like responsibility because I'm a catholic who... no, that wasn't the argument I meant to make.

Responsibility is the difference between being functionally human and not. It's the one single thing which makes me dump a girl more than any other. If you're the sort of person that moves blame for the situation you find yourself to someone else, you're not long meant for my close circle. It happens a lot. If someone spends most of their time explaining exactly why everyone they know has fucked them over... well, fuck off. You interest me not. Get over it.

I've always found myself fundamentally aligned with existentialism, even when the dirty expanses of the philosophy breaks anyone's will. Whatever happens to you is your fault. It's the sort of philosophy which falls apart at any point further down the economic spiral of advanced capitalism, but vaguely around where I am... well, it's right. It's not that things go wrong, but rather things happen and you choose how to define them with relation to your life.

Yes, it falls apart with people who have relatively little power over their life - the classic example being the mentally handicaped. But that's not the point. Philosphy is calculated on a personal basis. Since, post religion, the idea of dictating society's flux from a pulpit seems ridiculous, a philosophy that makes sense only in your context is fine. I mean... I'm not the sort to argue a universal unifying theory for the human soul. I'm not that smart. I wish I was.

But the boon for taking responsibilty for everything within reason that happens to you is that the future can be remixed upon any design you choose. The cost for someone who declines responsibilty for their situation is to have everything that happnes to them be, basically, random.

I can't have that.

I currently want to take what's happened upon me, but I'm not sure that I'll be able to. In hope I may.

The post is dedicated to John Walker, who noted I am the number 1 "Kieron" in google, for no other reason that it amuses me.