Kieron Gillen's workblog




Am I a depraved individual?

That was rhetorical. I am depraved individual. Especially at the moment. Not just this moment. Generally moments around now.

Don't worry. I'm wearing clothes when writing this.

Take yesterday, when I spent a hour burning bored, nervous Thursday energy trying to disgust Kenickie on The V with references to vigorous onanistic acts and famous actresses. Mainly Clare Danes and Angelina Jolie (Trad). Bad gags, which I'd forgotten by the next day.

(Except the "Bibgy Goes Down" one, which went something like ""Kieron's trousers go down in the auditorium and damn the consequences", more like". And something about writer's beard-stroking and middle-distance staring. And a B/anal word thing)

Next day, a poster - I vaguely recognise the user name - asks me to stop because - y'know - he knows Clare Danes.

Now, I suppose if I had any decency in me, I'd have backed down. Instead, I escalate. Loki locks the thread before I come out with something like "If someone appears in Men's leisure magazine photoshoots in a provocative manner, they should honestly realise that people are going to be masturbating while thinking of them". Probably smart.

Why didn't I do the polite thing?

Well, I was mildly annoyed that anyone would think my gibberish serious.

Or maybe I just like playing with people's boundaries. In the pub this evening, my immediate response to Walker's wondering why his sister wants him to meet her new, considerably older, man was suggesting that perhaps they're interested in a threesome or similar.

But she's her sister, dude!

Yeah. That's why it's funny, dolts.

There's nothing I wouldn't make jokes about. This is, of course, a different thing to not taking something seriously. If I think someone's reason for being squeamish is bullshit, I'll trample all over their feelings. It's good for them. Get over yourself and save your offence for things that actually matter.

(Obvious subnote: Walker laughed)

Which leads vaguely to what's the most memorable conversation thread from the pub: An idea for a website.

Slash fiction about Games Journalists.

Masterful Production Editor Tony Elllis chasing late copy from quivering Freelancer John Walker in his how inimitable manner. Seductive Commissioning Editor Ross Atherton beguiling star writer Tim Stone into something he's probably going to regret. The Editorial meeting of PSNext goes completely out of control as they decide to start applying spot-varnishes.

C'mon. Someone out there must have the time, inclination and the talent required to make some of it.

Though it seems I can't. I may have actually found my limit.




Kieron Gillen's Workblog, foo'.